EYES WIDE SHUT👀🫦
- Cream In My Coffee
- Aug 13, 2023
- 4 min read
Are your eyes wide open or closed during intimacy???
Eye contact is a manifestation of trust and honesty. It helps deepen our connection during intimacy.
Sex and intimacy are not the same. They are different. You can experience either one without the other, but together, it is an incredible experience.
What is Fully Engaged Sex?
Fully engaged sex is when both spouses are fully present and there is a real sense of connection. It is the difference between just doing it and actually bonding, between having sex and making love.
What does science say about eye contact?
According to brain experts, eye contact has the power to stimulate a simple chemical reaction in the brain. When you look someone in the eyes, you are producing a chemical called phenylethylamine.
It is a chemical responsible for inducing excitement conducive to falling in love.
Connection During Intimacy
Connection is what deepens intimacy. It happens on a number of levels, but if you have your eyes open and you’re in touch with each other rather than each being lost in your own private pleasure, that’s sex on a more intimate level.
The very opposite of connected a connected couple are ones who are bored and lazy during sex. They’re just doing their “marital obligations” and underneath they’re isolated and filled with their own concerns or insecurities. Their bodies are there, but they are not both fully present and fully engaged.
Eyes-Open Sex: Touching Versus Feeling
You can do all the right moves and have great sexual technique, but if you’re not actually present and making contact with your partner, you’re not feeling that person and you’re not experiencing your sexuality as intimacy. You can easily feel the intensity. But the intimacy not so much.
The goal is connection! Seeing and touching activate similar areas in the brain, but seeing takes us out of the body, whereas touch does not.
During sex, the parts of the brain that regulate emotion, memory, fantasy, movement, the senses and the genitals are all engaged, and at orgasm, when the rush of dopamine floods the neurological reward centres, the maelstrom of cognitive, emotional, and sensory activity make it almost impossible for anyone to keep their eyes open.
Sex is a powerful physiological experience, but it is predicated on trust.
To have an authentic physical connection with another person, we have to be willing to be vulnerable.
Here are some statistics from a survey we pulled up online conducted by Dr. David Schnarch
7.5% of couples never have sex
32% never make eye contact during sex
42% sometimes make eye contact during sex
18.5% actually sometimes have orgasms while looking into each other’s eyes.
Why do we close our eyes during sex?
If intense eye contact between a man and a woman induces sexual arousal, why do we close our eyes when we kiss? It is an instinct to close our eyes when our partner kisses us. But is there a more scientific reason for closing our eyes when we kiss?
According to a recent study conducted by Polly Dalton and Sandra Murphy, people close their eyes when they kiss because the brain cannot fully appreciate the physical sensation when distracted by the visual.
It makes sense; it is like focusing on one purpose at a time. Therefore, this is the reason why we close our eyes during sex.
Reasons why we need to make eye contact during sex
When a man looks into your eyes while making love creates a different kind of bond that cannot be expressed in words. We need to make eye contact during sex because of the following reasons:
1. Increases trust
By making eye contact during your most intimate moment, you are revealing yourself to your partner. You are establishing a trustworthy relationship.
Lack of eye contact may indicate nervousness, guilty feeling, or dishonesty. If this always happens, you should be wary; this can be a red flag.
2. Shows interest
Looking at your partner’s eyes during love making shows interest. It boosts your partner’s feelings, affirming he is worthy of your interest and love.
It proves that you are paying attention and are responding to his every move.
3. Boosts confidence
When you look your partner in the eyes, it delivers a certain kind of confidence to your partner.
Locking your eyes with your partner shows that you are in total surrender, allowing your partner to peek into the windows of your soul.
This kind of surrender boosts both your confidence in each other and strengthens the bond you have.
4. Maintains connection
According to Linda De Villers, a notable sex therapist, a powerful arousal trigger is connected to your partner, making you feel desired.
This connectedness can only happen when you maintain a good amount of eye contact.
5. Improves romantic chemistry
Like what’s mentioned earlier in this article, sustaining eye contact for at least a minute or two causes the brain to produce phenylethylamine, a chemical responsible for falling in love.
When your brain begins to produce phenylethylamine, there is a heightened feeling of pleasure, a heart-racing sensation that can make you forget your name.
Phenylethylamine, known as PEA, is a natural amphetamine that makes one feel high. PEA also stimulates the release of dopamine, a chemical that can also add to the feeling of love and excitement.
So, to increase excitement in your lovemaking, start them off with eye contact.
6. Adds heat to kissing
Closing one’s eyes while kissing makes you focus on the sensation at hand. But to add more passion and heat to your kissing experience, begin it with passionate eye contact.
Engaging with eye contact before kissing conditions both of you to the next few minutes of passionate kissing.
7. Stimulate intense sexual chemistry
Let me reiterate what I said earlier about scientific study. Studies show that intense eye contact between man and woman stimulates sexual arousal. Even without verbal communication, just sincere and lingering eye contact can tell them all.
It shows your vulnerability and reveals your soul to your partner, thus making him feel more at ease and confident. It’s like telling him to go on without saying a word.
8. Improves relationship
Although sex is just one of the many factors contributing to a good relationship, it may play an important role.
Having satisfying sex with your partner contributes to a feeling of security, respect, and being loved. This leads to having an open and trustful relationship.
Comments